Post by wingedwarrior on Jul 27, 2009 5:44:12 GMT -5
There once was a bird, a beautiful, unfettered creature. She loved to fly in many places, scattering her roots among others she converse. She was her own body, not conforming to anything less have to. She wondered worlds like how words meandered around a page. Most of all she was herself and had no one she needed.
This lovely bird was me until the 'event' happened so quickly. It was wonderful to have a love again. When we caressed each other in the bedroom things changed for me. I did not expect to have a bump afterwards. It was all an accident, a incident unintended (to me but not him). I was being impetuous, we were being rash.
Pregnancy was enjoyable for a while, it changed when the morning sickness came, the limitations--all pregnancy can deliver at this point was hell, worse than the real thing itself. From a beautiful creature I became a awesome woman with invisible shackles strapped to her body.
People tell me pregnancy is wonderful, I agreed to a point considering I like kids but now having to experience it is traumatizing. My Father had created a new phobia for me, after all, he ripped my children out of my stomach quite violently (I rather not get into detail). He did not approve of my pregnacy at that point. I may not show it here but it is destroying me.
I am depressed with myself: the hormones made it bad, the limitations worsened it, now that I am away from the world and back to Hell everything is depressing. Everywhere I go I see suffering and pain of my own kind.... It is consuming my very thoughts, making me empathize with them. I understand the emotional and physical pessimism they feel, it is depressing, starting to make me oblivious to the world and realize that people are vile and cruel.
The only person keeping me sane is my love, Ryker. Even his efforts are slowly dying away. What is happening to me? I see so much pain, so much of real hell that I am starting to shatter like a fragile doll....
__________________
I don't own that image. It is temporary until I have the inspiration to make my own.
This lovely bird was me until the 'event' happened so quickly. It was wonderful to have a love again. When we caressed each other in the bedroom things changed for me. I did not expect to have a bump afterwards. It was all an accident, a incident unintended (to me but not him). I was being impetuous, we were being rash.
Pregnancy was enjoyable for a while, it changed when the morning sickness came, the limitations--all pregnancy can deliver at this point was hell, worse than the real thing itself. From a beautiful creature I became a awesome woman with invisible shackles strapped to her body.
People tell me pregnancy is wonderful, I agreed to a point considering I like kids but now having to experience it is traumatizing. My Father had created a new phobia for me, after all, he ripped my children out of my stomach quite violently (I rather not get into detail). He did not approve of my pregnacy at that point. I may not show it here but it is destroying me.
I am depressed with myself: the hormones made it bad, the limitations worsened it, now that I am away from the world and back to Hell everything is depressing. Everywhere I go I see suffering and pain of my own kind.... It is consuming my very thoughts, making me empathize with them. I understand the emotional and physical pessimism they feel, it is depressing, starting to make me oblivious to the world and realize that people are vile and cruel.
The only person keeping me sane is my love, Ryker. Even his efforts are slowly dying away. What is happening to me? I see so much pain, so much of real hell that I am starting to shatter like a fragile doll....
__________________
I don't own that image. It is temporary until I have the inspiration to make my own.