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Post by Tig on Feb 26, 2009 10:12:12 GMT -5
Darkness. Fear.
Anya's eyes shot open. She frowned as she found herself in a strange room, with the wallpaper peeling from the wall. She sat up slowly, her black hair falling into her eyes. She searched the room with her eyes, always cautious. She sensed she was alone in the room. But where the hell was she? She crawled out of the bed. She growled in annoyance. She didn't know where she was, or remembered how she got there. Whoever was the cause of it, was going to get their eyes clawed out.
She felt the panther react to her anger, she had to shove a wall within her mind to keep the panther caged, it had taken years to learn that, to keep the panther from taking control of her body whenever she was angry.
And right now, she was very angry.
And hungry. Very hungry.
She licked at her lips, momentarily forgetting about her situation as she left the room to hunt. She saw the room number. #4
This was creepy. It reminded her of waking up in a white room, with freaks experimenting on her, because they thought she was the freak.
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Post by Trist on Feb 27, 2009 17:39:18 GMT -5
STORY: Its and awakening so the fact you woke up is good enough for me. haha.
5/5
FLOW: Same thing....its an awakening...im not expecting much.
5/5
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: eh little short...could have expanded more
3/5
GRAMMER/SPELLING: Looks ok to me haha.
5/5
Total: 18pts yes i do know i copy and pasted this twice but its the same things so yadda yadda...eat me ;D
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Post by citizenmike on Mar 2, 2009 12:26:04 GMT -5
Really good awakening, Tiggy. You hit all the right spots. Great job!
Story: 5/5
Flow: 5/5
Character Development: 5/5
Grammar/Spelling: 5/5
Total: 20pts, with a bonus 2: 22pts
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